Strength as learning – Stoicism –

Not everything we think is a reality.

Everything in our life is subject to an infinity of subjectivities. Getting rid of them will somehow make us not only freer, but also happier.

Mirror law

If you look in a mirror, regardless of your age, you will eventually look for your studied imperfections.

In many cases, these imperfections can become limiting. Well, I suggest you stop for a while longer in front of the mirror. If you stare closely at those blemishes, your mind will eventually smooth them out.

The attenuation of these physical imperfections is what I call: the exploration of insecurities.

You see, if we use a mirror to see our interior, to see ourselves: our image will be a reflection. In that reflection all our insecurities will appear, and also our hidden strengths.

“The insecurities
are
the shortcuts
of fears»

Self-esteem: an inner dialogue

All insecurities come from our early ages: childhood, and adolescence.

In these stages, the dictatorship of comparisons is lived. Everything associated with comparisons leads to the insecurity of the individual.

All individuals are unique and singular beings, we must flee from comparison. Any comparison leads to following an already defined course.

Human beings are a destination to discover, and to discover destinations we need all possible directions.

All the comparisons experienced since our school days are the path that leads the individual to the decline of low self-esteem.

When the dynamic of comparisons stops, new mental resources are born within the individual.

I have to point out that any comparison is a mental trap. And, like all mind traps, they are destructive.

«Must
build worlds
where the destinations
flourish aimlessly»

The dictatorship of comparisons

Immersed in a decadent society in values, comparisons flourish in any season of life.

This uselessly comparative world has cruelly taken root since the introduction of social networks as almost the only means of relating.

The visualization of other lives by users of social networks is always done from the comparative point of view.

Obviously, by looking only at the «dressing» of the lives of occasional successful people, with their virtual perfections, they lead the individual to a state of continuous dissatisfaction.

How have we reached a state of global dissatisfaction?

Due to the lack of objectivity.

Not knowing how to situate ourselves in the real context of life makes our reactions and emotions disproportionate.

Everything seems to be against us, everything seems too good for others, and too bad for us.

We require self-knowledge

Self-awareness is like a gymnastics session for the soul. Basically, it consists of learning and repeating.

We learn to look at each other, and we repeat. In that constant repetition we will find our true strengths. Our strengths are in front of the mirror, and not behind. Strengths are our essence.

«The strenghts
are
the sparkles of the soul»

Strength as learning

To learn we need three qualities: patience, kindness and optimism.

Patience

Continuous exposure to stimuli makes our inner state in complete and constant alert, which is why we must avoid most stimuli that, on the other hand, are absolutely unnecessary. As stoicism teaches us, they are disturbances outside our center.

With the look of presenteeism, we believe that our times are highly volatile and uncertain. However, Seneca or Marcus Aurelius, stoic thinkers of antiquity, had much worse situations. They lived in an environment plagued by economic, political, health and value crises.

By gradually eliminating these stimuli that overload existence with information, we can learn to live with the serenity of the present. Our existence is cruelly short, distracting ourselves with banal and superfluous things, everything unnecessary distracts us from true happiness.

Serenity is linked to patience. From patience we can focus on the imperturbability that true knowledge gives us.

Patience will make us be able to look in the mirror again, and from it understand the true potential of our strengths.

Serenity from imperturbability will make us discover in the mirror: what do you really see of yourself?

This will be the beginning of learning.

Later, we will look for kindness.

«Only
when everything stops
everything can
beat synchronous again»

Kindness

«Be kind, for each person you come across is fighting their own hard battle.» This phrase is attributed to Plato, a Greek philosopher, follower of Socrates and teacher of Aristotle.

Each of us fights our own battle. Within that battle, the first step is to be kind to ourselves.

How do we talk to ourselves?

There is a progressive tendency to «dislike» this causes a rejection of our essence.

But, when we have been patient, and we have contemplated ourselves in depth in our inner mirror; we have been able to be kind to our essence. From that kindness arises empathy for others.

I have to remember that this internal mirror in which our strengths are highlighted reflects more and more strongly due to our own self-knowledge: learning and repeating.

«Where there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.» Seneca

Seeking to improve our environment makes us better. There is always room for improvement, except in perfection.

The comparison and perfection

After an educational system constantly marked by comparisons, and emphasizing the qualities that only some possess: the individual searches his unconscious for perfection.

Seeking perfection as human beings anchors us to «no improvement».

«The perfection
is only
a distortion of reality”

This occurs because perfection occurs only in some specific aspects of being.

But, we are designed for completeness. That is why we must constantly want to be better.

When wanting to be better, what I call “space for improvement” arises. Within that space for improvement, in turn, many of our hidden qualities emerge randomly.

Optimism: the connection to courage

An important lesson learned in warfare and applied to real life is: keep your morale high and maintain self-respect.

Life is a series of random circumstances that we must face with optimism. Applying optimism to our life does not imply that everything is happiness. Moreover, we must be aware of our emotions at all times.

«Do not pretend that things happen the way you want. Rather wish that they occur as they occur and you will be happier». Epictetus

Only when we are in true contact with our emotions will we be able to control our actions.

Optimism is based on understanding that we cannot control what happens around us, but we can control what is constantly happening within us.

It is in that inner knowledge – self-knowledge – it is from where we will access happiness. Happiness is unique to each individual and is achieved through our personal character.

Optimism is connecting with our courage, since from it the bonds of our trust are tied.

An example of optimism: the glass of water

We can all choose from what perspective to see things and if we are going to observe them with a positive or negative gaze.

Suppose that before our eyes we are placed a perfectly symmetrical and transparent 500 ml glass with a quantity of water inside of 250 ml.

If they ask you: how is the glass?

A few will say half full, and many others will say half empty.

These approaches to people can be classified as: positive or negative.

But, there is another approach: the optimistic one.

When we have reached the ideal of the «human being turned towards himself», we understand that the glass has twice the capacity strictly necessary.

We have understood that it is better to learn from adversities than to try to avoid them. We have gained the experience of knowing where freedom resides.

«In abundance
of optimism,
all
has its fair measure»

Behind patience, kindness and optimism: peace of mind (ataraxia)

As Epictetus himself stated: “Behave in your life as at a banquet. If a dish passes near you, be very careful not to put your hand in it. Instead, if they offer it to you, take your share. Do the same with your wealth, friends, partners, family or any other aspect. If you can achieve it, you will be worthy to sit at the table of the gods. And if you are even capable of rejecting what is put in front of you, you will have part of their power”.

From tranquility you can understand the soul. Understanding the soul as a part welded to each of our actions. A soul in complete harmony with our emotions is a just soul.

When we are in harmony with our being, we understand that everything banal is only part of the world beyond reality. Everything that inhabits reality is tangible to our skin.

«The beauty
it is not an ornament of life,
but
the unspeakable spell
that we are forced to unravel
in each new dawn”

The present as a way of life

We can only live in the present, never the past or the future. Although it may seem obvious, our mind dwells too much in other times.

The past no longer exists, and the future, so that it is not an obstacle,
We will face our only present with the same equanimity and virtuosity: today.

Once we fully live in the present, which is the only time period over which we have any control, we can own the «now.»

In the «now» we must exclude immediacy, since this is an insubstantial representation of life. Immediacy is always an empty time.

Our greatest possession will thus be our time. Time will be our greatest fortune.

We have to remember the transience of life «memento mori», «remember that you will die».

That is why in this temporary limitation we must take advantage of life with the humility of gratitude, and move away from everything toxic.

The wise man is one who willingly accepts all the circumstances that life brings with it at every moment.

When life is destined to materiality, and to greed; turning away from virtue: the individual wanders in the poverty of the soul.

«Luxury is artificial poverty». Socrates

Anything vaguely material should never be coveted, as it leads to ostentation. The banal need to pretend reveals an existential void.

Miscellany

Now go back to your mirror. Get to know each other again, discover your own nature: your strengths and weaknesses.

So they will be wise.

«Culture
it is the way to interpret the world”

Surrounded by banal stimuli, and far from virtuosity, we must abstract ourselves from everything fleeting. Focus our gaze on the ethereal lights that germinate on the horizon, so we can interpret the reality of the world. This is how freedom arises, from culture.

«Only the educated man is free». Epictetus

A virtuous life is not exempt from uncomfortable obstacles, but these obstacles will only be a path to knowledge that will gradually move us away from all our weaknesses. Knowledge is the virtue of good.

“There is only one asset: knowledge. There is only one evil, ignorance». Socrates

Not everything we think is a reality, only the one that lives in our emotions.

We must always look towards the sun of strengths, in order to outshine our weaknesses.

«Keep your face towards the sunlight
and you will not see the shadow”. Helen Keller

David EPC ©

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